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Pursue your dream of private practice in Northern Utah! Smithfield, located north of Logan in Cache Valley, has 8000+ residents, and you have the opportunity to take over the only eye doctor office in town. Current doctor only works 2 days a week, which is limiting growth.

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For techies out there that use Wordpress and Google Adsense, I just spent a long time figuring out something I heard about at acmetech.com.

The idea, as I understand it, is if someone searches your blog for something, but does not return any results, then you can display a little Google Search box with their search word(s) inside whose action searches Google using your Adsense account number so that you get advertising credit for any click throughs.

I didn’t immediately understand from the acmetech site where to insert their code snippit, and also the text didn’t have the right coding (the apostrophies and quotation marks especially weren’t compatible).
So if you want to try this out, edit in your default template the index.php file (which inside the WP control panal-Presentation-Theme Editor they call it “Main Template”).

Then here is the text code snippit from acmetech.com that I reformatted.

Right-click the above link to save the file to your desktop, open it in WordPad, copy and paste the text into your default template’s index.php file between
<?php _e('Sorry, no posts matched your criteria.'); ?>

and

< ?php endif; ?>

You may also notice if you test this out on my website, that the url now says optoblog.com/search/yoursearchterm instead of optoblog.com/index.php?s=yoursearchterm. They call it a “cruft free” URL, and I did it by following the directions at the WordPress codex site.
Enjoy!

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Liberals Pick up the Nose-picker Fight

Well, maybe they haven’t yet, but if their current philosophies and democrat history provide any indication, Liberals will soon be spending tax payer dollars to champion nose picker “rights.”

Nose picking is mostly frowned upon in our society, but since several studies¹ have concluded that nose picking is an inherited genetic “condition,” liberals will soon champion special treatment, “rights,” and tax advantages for out-of-the-closet nose pickers (NPs).

But, David, isn’t nose picking a public health hazard? Isn’t it “wrong.” Sure, irresponsible nose picking can transmit diseases to other people: colds, gastroenteritis, conjunctivitis, impetigo². When these illnesses are caused by nose picking, the natural reaction would be, boy I shouldn’t pick my nose- nor should anyone who comes in contact with me or my food! However, this would be republican “hate speech.” Benevolent liberals would have a plan for us all.

The first thing liberals would is pass laws requiring businesses to divert money from profits and install in their buildings one hand washing station per 500 square feet, one hand sanitizer dispenser per 250 square feet, and offer complementary latex-free five-fingered condoms (a.k.a. gloves) at all entrances.

But the liberals would be remiss if they didn’t educate our children about nose-picking. Special NP Ed classes would enter school curriculums nationwide. Liberals will also try to create a provision that students may not opt-out of the class if their parents object to what is being taught about nose picking. Republican parents may object to:
in-class demonstrations on nose picking.
adulation of the sensual nose picking experience.
hand washing and the use of hand sanitizers and hand condoms will be taught as the only source of preventing the public health risk caused by nose picking.
the fact that one could avoid auto- and trans-inoculation by abstaining from nose picking, but this relevant information will not be admissible in the class room.

Parents and students objecting to NP Ed will be called all sorts of hateful things by the Party of Love, among them will be “old prunes” (which look a lot like humongous boogers with a dark tint). These conservative parents will be laughed at in every state except Utah and Idaho. ACLU will mercilessly monitor the teaching habits and curriculums of Utah and Idaho school districts to make sure they comply with the liberal’s interpretation of the law.

I foresee a problem with a blue-state school district in a predominantly conservative neighborhood where the majority of workers are in the health care industry. They will pull their kids out of school to protest NP Ed. Of course, the liberals will call for troops to be sent in to squash the rebellion. Photos of 7th graders being “escorted” back to school with MP5 machine guns pointed at their head will be only available on the Internet since major media outlets will, at first, pretend such photos don’t exist. When the issue is pressed, they will admit they didn’t publish them because of “journalistic integrity.”

Of course, what the parents would also object to would be “Unit 2: detailed instruction on how to pick your friend’s nose.” Of course, picking your friend’s nose will be touted by the liberals as a “routine act, like going to the bathroom” and is also protected by the first amendment. The NP Ed curriculum will encourage students to believe that picking other people’s noses (POPN) means nothing, has no consequences, and relieves a physical and psychological need given to us by Evolution. Of course, forcible POPN with a non-consenting party is “strictly prohibited” unless you are from Arkansas or hold influence in the liberal hegemony. In that case, it is “someone’s personal NP life” and “we shouldn’t meddle in such private affairs” and “what goes on between people’s fingers and noses is none of our concern.”

The ACLU will make sure that all school districts know that they are not allowed to notify parents if their child is an NP or POPN, since that is against “privacy laws” and could defame the child (even if “everyone” does it?). The liberals will make sure heavy fines are enacted on school districts who deal so treacherously against the NP student, which will raise taxes (future headline: San Francisco Residents Donate 80% of Income [to government]).

In conclusion, the plight of nose picker rights to date has largely gone unnoticed, but I guarantee that liberals will soon come to their rescue as they try (in vain) to increase their party’s base.

1. Please note that, like many studies cited by liberals, these studies don’t actually exist. But come on! Isn’t it common sense that many people are born nose pickers? Think of all the kids in the world who pick their nose until their parents scornfully shame them into suppressing their Evolution-given desire to shove a finger up their nostril.
2. Staph. Aureus is one of the primary bacteria found in our nasal mucosa secretions. It is also a causative organism of impetigo (skin infection). Pretend you get a scratch on your skin which creates an open wound. A finger makes a journey from inside a nostril to touch the scratch, and theoretically you could get impetigo.

Comments:
I recently completed reading three books by Ann Coulter. Wow. I wish every “liberal by default” person in America could read her collective works and wake up from the brainwashing given to them from birth by the media outlets and education establishment. Reading Ann Coulter’s work was a direct inspiration for this blog entry. I wrote it because I want America to know that: I am a conservative, I have a blog to voice my opinions, and I vote.
I also misleadingly made the headline look like fact, because as Ann Coulter has shown, the NYT does it all the time with liberal opinions.
David Langford, OD
www.optoblog.com

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Well, I was supposed to be blogging like a maniac about GWCO, but instead I took some time for myself and watched a movie on PBS called Skinwalkers. I take an interest in Native American culture. I’ve lived next to an Indian reservation all my life (except college), and up until last Friday, for the last two years I’ve lived on an Indian Reservation. I don’t want to give away anything about the ending of the movie, but one of the discussions is “medicine man healing” vs. “white man medicine.” This draws some interesting parallels between my religious culture and modern medicine. In my religion, I have the priesthood which includes the power to heal. You might call me and the other brethren medicine men.

So, should I say a prayer over my patients or treat them with the tools of modern medicine? I haven’t run across the situation where a patient asks me for a special healing prayer. Those who know about priesthood power would normally ask the priesthood holder closest to them. Normally, I only use my priesthood for my family and a few other members of my church that I’m asked to befriend and routinely visit to give a little gospel lesson each month.

Personally, I don’t know how I would react if a stranger in my exam room asked for a healing blessing. I would never charge for a priesthood blessing- we know how the Lord feels about that. I think I would do the ocular exam as per usual and Rx modern medicine as per usual. If they are already assigned a priesthood holder, I would ask them to call that brother. If they aren’t of my faith, then I guess I’d ask them to come over to my house or meet me at the church after office hours.

But that brings up another point. With perfect faith, wouldn’t all the healing prayers be answered? Well, do we mere mortals have perfect faith? Do we always connect ourselves with the will of God? I think we all should try. I know that the power of priesthood healing is real. I’ve experienced it myself, and I’ve administered it to others. I still take our kids to the E.R./Urgent Care. I still do all I know how to do(modern medicine speaking), but I also ask or administer a priesthood blessing. I don’t believe that it shows a lack of faith. Quite the opposite. If I only did what modern medicine tells us, without prayer, it would show a trust in the arm of flesh- not God. If I only prayed instead of seeking medical attention, then it would show a lack of faith in my God since he has blessed us with so much knowledge and so many people to help us. Miracles are accomplished by people helping people. The Lord often answers our prayers through the actions of others.

Anyway, a little off topic for this site, but the movie Skinwalkers got me thinking about the metaphysical and the physical and how it relates to me as an eye care professional.

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I’m test driving a new theme. I started looking for a new theme when one of those automated robot news-grabbing-sites-on- eye-surgery used the same theme as the one I was using (Blue Fade). I put in a theme chooser pull downlist. Let me know which one you like best.

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